Change can be challenging AND GREAT!

Organizing my kitchen and pantry was all sunshine and rainbows.  (Ok, it's a mess right now, but the clutter isn't permanent).  In general, the kitchen feels more spacious and manageable - the work Kristi (

fabulous Organizer) and I did feels like I (we - including the other human who live here) can keep it up. Even the updated paper management feels good to me.  Well, I'm glad we started with the kitchen because the basement - well that has been a different story. 

I was dreading the basement from the beginning of the organizing.  It has felt overwhelming to even think about for a long time. Even after I made a lot of progress down there in 2020 it still felt huge to me. And it was the major reason I asked for help. Years of two steps forward and three steps back down there had me thinking it was TOO much to deal with.  But with my trusty guide we dove in.  She decided to move a big shelving unit that in my head would have taken 4 people a week to do - she did it in about 45 minutes. (See how our brains make things harder than they might really be?)  During our first session in the basement we organized the storage area - it is the best it's looked in the 19 years I've lived here.  Even after that was done I still felt really overwhelmed - even knowing what was possible in a 3 hour timeframe it felt insurmountable.  At some point I realized my brain was making this out to be worse than it really was, that  this didn't make a ton of sense. Then  *bam* it hit me -  I am afraid to lose the chaos in the basement.  I am afraid to fully let go of mess.  What???  I hate the mess, it drives me nuts and I feel hopeless when I look at it. Why would I be afraid to let it go??????

So here, we need to go back to when I was in Coach Training - we learned a tool called  The House Metaphor.  The upshot was even back in 2015ish my messy basement was a metaphor for my life.  It was the part that was chaotic and messy and felt completely unmanageable. At the time I thought it was pointing out the parts of me I don't appreciate, don't like, the parts I hadn't changed yet. BUT what I didn't realize then and it hit me now is,  that mess?  It is the past - the messy and chaotic (and traumatic) parts of my childhood and young adulthood that are deeply part of me, and which no longer serve me. Just like the mess I had in my basement no longer serves me. I acknowledged it might feel really hard and I could do it anyway. What if it seemed like it would be really hard, but it wasn't?  What if it seemed really hard but it would be ok anyway? That was a huge weight lifted off my shoulder - it could be hard and I could rely on Kristi to see the big vision and figure out what we work on next.

My question for you: what change in your life seems like it will be hard, but really may not be?  What change that seems really hard but doable with help, with someone who holds the vision for you?  What are you holding yourself back from because change seems hard?  

As I get rid of the mess it's easier to see next steps for the house and for me.  Last night I spent time in my new workout space. I put most of the workout stuff scattered around my house down there (yoga props, foam roller, exercise ball) and spent time simply stretching and doing a few mobility exercises.  Acquainting myself with the new space.  Getting used to a new space free of a mess that doesn't serve me.  I'm also trying to get acquainted with this new version of my brain. Where I let go of the big messy things that don't serve me.  The basement story isn't over yet, so i'll keep you posted on any more big developments!  To be continued.......

xo Trina